How we use words

When I first started tutoring Maria, she was reading these really complicated passages from a play called "Doubt." She had to give a synopsis of the content. Oftentimes, the writer would use words whose meaning I thought I understood. I would have Maria look up their meaning anyways, and we'd find that once we had the definition, it totally changed everything we thought about the passage at hand. So, lately, I've been a huge fan of the dictionary.

For example, I was watching a preview for this documentary that my mom recommended called Tal Como Somos (Just as We Are) about LGBTQ latinos. They kept talking about "machismo" being a huge part of latin culture. Now, I think I know what machismo means, but I looked it up on wikipedia and it said:

"The English word machismo originates in an identical Spanish word, which however has a somewhat different meaning. Spanish machismo refers exclusively to the belief in the superiority of males over females, that is it means sexism or male chauvinism (along with the Spanish adjective machista, sexist or male chauvinist)."

I mean, that's really different than being excessively manly, in the english connotation.

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In other news, I interviewed with the Berkeley Housing Co-op for an Apartment Manager position. They asked me a question along the lines of "How would you increase diversity awareness in the co-op?" And, y'all, I totally balked on the answer. I'm really conflicted about my opinions towards terms like "diversity" and "diversity awareness." My gut, impulse is to be totally turned off by these terms, and I'm still working through my reasons why.

Last night I had a dinner party. If you want to go down the list of who was at the party according to "identities," there were white women, a venezuelan immigrant man, a chicana american woman, a black american, a turkish immigrant man, queers and freaks (that would be me). Our opinions about diversity differed. It's possible that were we to dive into discussions, there would be bruises, anger, or tears.

I feel like more is accomplished in these types of settings than in all of the college "diversity trainings" combined. Diversity happens when I call my mom and she tells me that she's seen a documentary on PBS about queer latinos. It happens when I go to a Domincan dance party, and sit in the corner nervously, hoping no one will ask me to dance. It happens when I take interest in the photos taken by black high school kids, and when they take an interest in my body art.

William Faulkner says, "The past isn't dead. It isn't even past." Likewise, the truth isn't even true. Or, our thinking about diversity isn't even diverse.

Or, having a dinner party isn't even about having dinner.